“Every night I am reluctant to close up because there may be some one who needs the café,” said the older waiter in Hemingway’s “A Clean, Well-Lighted Place.” Now that we cannot linger, or even sit down for safety reasons, I wonder what the long-term effects on our mental health will be? We’ve lost the third physical space — not home, not work. The in-between place where you can stare into space, sort your receipts, chat with a friend.
In the story, an “old man” as Hemingway describes him, does not want to go home. Perhaps he doesn’t want to face his demons, look at the dirty dishes, the pictures of his wife when she was young. “Third-space-mind,” could be a feeling we used to have. I did — especially in college in Chicago. I was one of the first customers when Kopi, A Travelers Café opened up in my neighbourhood. I’d bring my books, drink a bowl full of latte, sit on cushions sometimes. Not my cushions, not my cup. Made it easier to deal with the hard stuff. I’d journal. I’d study. I’d peddle my bike home feeling somewhat relived of whatever thoughts fell on my pages.
We’ve lost so much. (COVID disclaimer: Yes, we need to follow regulations and get this virus under control. No sip of latte is worth someone getting sick.) And yet …we feel the loss. Or maybe we don’t quite remember the smell of our regular dish in our favorite restaurant brought in with the smell of the sweaty waiter, steam from the kitchen, the buzz of conversation, touch of hands grabbing for the bill. All of that is on TV.
BC: Before COVID. We watch in shock as people shake hands, whisper in each other’s ear, laugh.
But it’s only been 8 months of our lives. Depending on your age, it is a small amount of time. But that third space. We miss it so. How are you coping without your third space?
